lost my whole entry. shite. hangover. celebrated signing of contract last night. have to put my ego and or fears aside as i hear him talk about finding his apartment at the same time saying to me it is ours - fair enough, i would not sign as a cotennent this early - it just did not seem appropriate. if course i wonder what will happen. i had written about my housemate situation and how she really can just be an awkward person. i invited him back for a drink after seeing the film the departed (after signing contract on flat) and before we'd even toasted she had come home and took a seat firmly next to us and did not leave the whole time so in the end we got a taxi and while it would have been lovely to have a little chat with her she just does not get the man/woman thing or intimacy well. i thought about talking to her about it but realised it would cause harm and change nothing. the boyfriends tennents are no different i suppose - we got back to his after going dancing and one stayed up dancing and drinking with us. but eventually we went to bed... and had our version of peace. ahhhhh. today is six weeks since our meetings. early days for sure. by the time he gets the flat it will be two months. christmas will be three. i suppose eventually if it all works out we will not feel embarressed by making plans after so little time knowing the other - but it just seems to be working. we have been building up trust and shared history and this is great. something is a bit strange with his female friendships - he tells them i'm in his life - its not that. its just it is as if i don't exist after that. no shared dinners. at first he wanted me to meet his partner and went on and on about it. but then that idea stopped. maybe he is not sure and has questions. we should both take it easier i guess. i just dont ever want another situation like the last one i was in and it can scare me.