Love Life

boyfriend read my blog. think he is curious by nature. like me. will be an adjustment. things going better and better. have to focus on myself - work, fitness, health. love is an amazing thing though. wow.

lost my whole entry. shite. hangover. celebrated signing of contract last night. have to put my ego and or fears aside as i hear him talk about finding his apartment at the same time saying to me it is ours - fair enough, i would not sign as a cotennent this early - it just did not seem appropriate. if course i wonder what will happen. i had written about my housemate situation and how she really can just be an awkward person. i invited him back for a drink after seeing the film the departed (after signing contract on flat) and before we'd even toasted she had come home and took a seat firmly next to us and did not leave the whole time so in the end we got a taxi and while it would have been lovely to have a little chat with her she just does not get the man/woman thing or intimacy well. i thought about talking to her about it but realised it would cause harm and change nothing. the boyfriends tennents are no different i suppose - we got back to his after going dancing and one stayed up dancing and drinking with us. but eventually we went to bed... and had our version of peace. ahhhhh. today is six weeks since our meetings. early days for sure. by the time he gets the flat it will be two months. christmas will be three. i suppose eventually if it all works out we will not feel embarressed by making plans after so little time knowing the other - but it just seems to be working. we have been building up trust and shared history and this is great. something is a bit strange with his female friendships - he tells them i'm in his life - its not that. its just it is as if i don't exist after that. no shared dinners. at first he wanted me to meet his partner and went on and on about it. but then that idea stopped. maybe he is not sure and has questions. we should both take it easier i guess. i just dont ever want another situation like the last one i was in and it can scare me.

last night went to a birthday party for 160 seated at a restaurant in knightsbridge. might have been a fantastic party, i couldn't tell you, i was so tired that it was a little like torture - and when it finally getting good i really had to find a cab to leave. had nice bedtime chat with new man though. helped me sleep. woke up and finally had chat to house mate who wanted to talk about the property we rent together - i said i wanted front door and gates painted, my bathroom, front gates, and floors sanded and sealed. meantime, boyfriend made offer on flat we might live in together. wow. five weeks. very intense. will keep my place even if move in for six months because know it correct thing. not from point of view of 'just in case it doesnt' work' but because we hardly know eachother and have so many things and him too that best to slowly join it together and not have pressure of a million packing cases etc. ok. thats bullshit. i'm scared. of course i am. he is moody. he is lovely. i have a terrible track record of picking. hmmm. time will tell. fingers crossed!

staying in a villa with an incredible view...beauty appointments arranged...by him...manicure, pedicure, hair blow dry while watching the sunset in the comfort of our room, and a massage with a lovely woman putting crystals on my body and talking about good health and energy...grabbing my hand while in huge club to take me to a smaller room with different music and dancing with me and loving me...cooking me zuccinni with goat's cheese sauce...cooking for 6 people a three course meal which was too delicious...laughing at me, with me, because of me

1. go on intensive driving course in wales
2. take a train to liverpool because some astrologer once told me it was important to me for some reason
3. plan a trip to the lake district with a group of friends to go hiking